How weird am I? I love being alone on the holidays.
For the record that above question will most likely be asked often. You have been warned.
Today it occurred to me that I am weird. I was scanning some of my favorite sites and they all have posts about being alone for the holidays and how to avoid being down about it. That is when it hit me. I love being alone at the holidays. Welcome to another view of my weirdness.
I do though. I can trace this right back to the holidays with my family, my nuclear and extended. Holidays were always so stressful. You never knew what was going to happen. You would think that after my parents got divorced it would have gotten better. The answer to that is no. when they lived in the same state it was a major guilt trip about where you were going to spend the days. Remember, nothing says “holidays” like having your parents force you to choose one over the other. When my mother moved back east my father was then with my step mother. That should have been better. I was with one or the other. Nope. My step mother is a nut. The first holiday I ever spent in her presence she snapped her fingers at me and started ordering me around, without ever using my name. She has forgotten my birthday and excluded me from several holidays because she “never once thought of me”. Those would be her words by the way. These holidays were ones where Dad and SM decided to go away with her family suddenly.
So for me, holidays are days I love to be alone. I call and wish everyone great days. Chat with them for a while and reassure them that I am fine. Then the whole day is mine. I may see friends though I usually don’t. I read books, watch movies, play with my cats and relax. I have holidays filled with peace when I am alone. I enjoy that peace and am so thankful for it.