Ever notice how people look at things as either this or that? You know the old black and white thinking. The thing is when you mix black and white together you get gray. In all reality everything is gray.
I used to be huge on taking a stand on, well, anything. I was forever frustrated that people did not see things the same way that I did. I mean, come on, I did the research for goodness sake! I knew what I was talking about. Here is the thing while I might have “known” about my subject my knowledge was still my opinion. It was formed by my way of looking at the data. My perspective has been formed by my life experience. So my knowledge and way of expressing it was mine. You could read everything I did and listened to all the discussions on a subject and come to a totally different conclusion. So who is right?
We both are.
No matter how much we want absolutes in this life they do not exist. Each of us has a life time of experiences and influences that create our outlook and how we process data. We don’t even realize that we have these filters. That is so normal, but it is a problem. We all have different filters. Even your family members have different filters than you do.
Now back to black and white. So who is right? Again we both are. There is no black or white. No matter what we look at or how we look at it there is always an exception. Murder is wrong! Okay, I agree. Let me ask you a question though. What if someone breaks in to your house and threatens to harm your family. It is a situation of you and your family or them. What are you going to do? It gets hard when we make the questions personal. When we look at it from the worst case scenario it gets a little bit harder. Let’s look at a different example.
You have two people working for the same cause to educate people on a subject matter. One person believes that becoming part of a bigger group working towards the same end is the only way to go. The second person believes in what they are doing at a more grassroots level. Who is right? They both are. When you look at these different situations try to take into consideration that different people react to differently to stimuli and public situations. In this case while I would support the large group, let’s say it is a group against violence against women, I would be more comfortable with a smaller group of people to interface with. I am concerned about my privacy at this point and the idea of running in to someone I know who doesn’t know my story would make me very uncomfortable. Also discussing rape in a large group would be too emotionally overwhelming for me. Heck I can’t discuss the details in-depth with anyone without being overwhelmed. Can we imagine what I would be like in front of a large group of people? While there are obviously others out there who want to be with hundreds or thousands of other survivors. God bless them for that. I am not in a place right now where I do. Hence the color gray.
To many the color gray is a drab color. But for me, as I grow, I find it to be the color of compromise and compassion. It is the color of respecting all options out there.