The approach that my therapist takes is a mix of eastern and western in his practice. It totally works for me and makes sense. The problem that I am always having is this whole “being in the moment” thing. Sounds easy, but it is a challenge.

While there are many issues I have with this concept one of them is that I have this picture in my head of what “being in the moment” should be. I should be calm, aware of all that is around me, my brain should be set to “om” mode, a little Buddha smile on my face and so still that birds will think I am a statue. That is the goal. Is it realistic? Heck no! Part of me knows that. The problem is that the reality is so far from my ideal it is laughable.

I can only picture what I look like when I try to take a step back and just be in the moment. I am pretty sure it resembles a hyper four-year old or someone who is suffering from PTSD and depression, which I am. I either cannot sit still or I look like a complete zombie, but not in a good Zen way. Let me put it this way my therapist and I have tried meditation and it has been successful once. Where I just sat there and did not move. Cause usually I am moving even if it is just one finger.

Side note: I am hoping that pedaling at my desk may help with this.

In my head, depending on the day there is either a litany of negativity on how I can’t do this and what a horrible human being I am or I am building lists. Occasionally I come up with really good ideas for blogs. What I do not accomplish is being in the moment. Not at all there.

There is hope for me, which does mean for all of us. See there are times when I am struck by the moment. It could be a sunrise, a project at work that totally captures me, writing a blog, hanging with my family or friends when I am just there and there is nothing else. It may not be as often as I like and I have yet to be told I am wearing a Buddha smile, but I will take these moments and work for more.