Lately my mood has been improving for the most part and that is awesome. Oddly though occasionally I will be in a great mood and then my eyes fill with tears. The urge to start sobbing is overwhelming.
Let me say here that I want stability of my mood like a cat wants catnip. Seriously I do. I hate when my moods do this and I especially hate it when there is nothing I can point to for the shift. The feeling is like someone coming up and hitting you with the crying bat. Not to mention you look a bit nuts when you are laughing one minute and then fighting tears the next. Hormonal? Nope! Exhausted? Nope! PTSD and depression? Right here! Sigh..
I do a lot to try to stabilize my mood. I try very hard to eat right for me, exercise and take my meds. In some ways I am starting to feel like Elizabeth Gilbert in her book “Eat, Pray, Love” where she talks about everything that she was doing to pull herself out of her depression. I am limiting my exposure to the news, sad songs, angry songs, and any commercial that feature cute animals or children who are starving. Now, I can’t afford to travel to three different countries and no one is going to pay me to go so I have to discover myself at home. What makes it even more fun is I get to experience this trek of self discovery while working and doing all my normal stuff.
My next step is to start researching, again, on other steps I can take. I think that there will be tracking of what is going on when these sudden swings occur. You know fun stuff like what music was I listening too, how much coffee was consumed, what I ate, where I ate, what I was wearing, how much sleep, exercise, the stage of the moon and all the stars in the heavens! Wish me luck!