Looking back I realize that I did the best I could during the time of my abuse. I wasn’t prepared for it in any way. Saying that, there are things I wish I had done.

Tell someone: It doesn’t have to be family or friends. It can be a hotline or a doctor. Find someone who will not confront the abuser if you can’t leave or will not spread it all over town. If the person has experience with abuse that is great. If not as long as they can offer a shoulder and maybe contact authorities if you go missing.

When you realize it is time to save yourself start researching. Unless you are a little kid you should be able to find a way. What are the laws in your state in regards to restraining orders? Are there organizations that can help you get back on your feet? Seriously find out what your options are.

Consider what might happen and what you will need. Has the abuser always said that they would rather see you dead then gone? That is going to impact your planning. How about money? If you have dependents what will they need? If you take medication think about changing the pharmacy. Will your place of business help you in this situation? Where could the abuser get information on where you are? Plug that hole even if it means cutting ties with friends and family.

When you are being abused and have hit the wall of saving yourself consideration for others feelings goes out the window. Your responsibility is to get out and stay safe. That is the first step. After that more hard work is right around the corner.