Lately I’ve been in a weird space. A good space, but a weird one. I am not on the verge of huge slide or anything. It is just that I feel like something is coming.
*cue the spooky music and fog machine*
How mysterious did that come off? I don’t really mean it that way, but it is the only way to describe how I feel. There is major moment coming down the road here. What is it? I don’t think I have all of the details yet. There is a start to the answer. The hurdle that I am looking at with slightly squinty eyes is “allowing happiness and fulfillment happen.” It is kind of scary.
Now I know that some people get that and others are doing the “huh” routine.
To explain this I have to state that I have always had a foreshortened sense of the future. Basically that means I have never thought of the future or planned for it. You know people ask where you want to be in 3, 5, 7 or 10 years? Ask me that question at you have always gotten a puzzled look which would indicate I don’t speak english. I mean it was that foreign to me. Now the game has changed. I actually have hopes, dreams and plans that I would like for my future. The first one is the Reiki healing class on November 12. This is the first step on what may be my path.
What it comes down to is I am scared. I have never done this before. I am terrified of this moving in to the future with stuff attached to it. The whole idea has me a bit of a wreck. Just a little bit. Truly small, but it is there. It is a mixture of joy for wanting to take this step with a pinch of “WTF” thrown in.
This is where I am now. At least part of it. I do have the feeling that there is more tied to it and will be acknowledged when I am ready.
Peace and blessings