My mind has been busy lately. This results in some great insights, but at times it also causes the “butterfly” effect, confusion and exhaustion. The “butterfly” effect is when you can’t follow a thought from one end to the other. It can be kind of fun and entertaining though it does get a bit flaky after a while.
What is keeping my mind going? Lot’s of stuff. My sister Ali and where she currently is. Thoughts and flash backs of the rapes. Worry about Jenn, Jay and Ry. My future and how to make it happen. Reconciling the perception others have of me and mine own.
How do I deal with all of this? First, and this is a first for me, I decided I needed support. The support I needed is from a professional so I reached out to Pavel. I have an appointment for this Saturday morning. How do I feel taking this step? My old voice is screaming failure at me, but the new healthy part of me is singing like a chorus of angels. Go figure.
The second trick in the bag is writing this all out. Kind of doing a memory dump if you will. Writing out what is going on allows me to look at what is really rolling around. It gives me a feeling of doing something. I also get to see what I can control and what I can’t.
The control part is huge. What is rolling around my head and I am obsessing on that I can’t do a darn thing about? Is part of the problem that my control freak is coming out? I do have to admit that is still a battle for me.
The main solution for all of these things is to take a break, get the support that I need and to offer myself compassion. Of course writing always helps!
What do you do to quiet a busy mind?
Peace and blessings.