I have group therapy on Monday nights now. It runs from 7PM to 8:45PM. Needless to say Mondays are usually a 15 to 16 hour day outside of the house. Total time conscious is usually 20 hours. Am I tired on Tuesday? Oh you bet I am.
Having group on Monday night has taught me to recognize my mood and then to work with it. Today is a great example. I am so tired I can’t hold a thought. They talk about monkey mind in meditation and I can tell you now that I have full-blown monkey mind. Think spider monkey flinging itself all over the place. That is my grey matter today.
My first hint of my state of mind was my typing being off the wall today. I seriously spent much of the morning coming up with my own language. I finally got that under control. The next symptom was changing my mind. I don’t mean once, but over and over. It started with an email to continue group. Unfortunately, Pavel was exposed to my new language. When he asked me to clarify what I was actually saying I responded in English with I would be continuing for the next 8 sessions. Then the monkey mind came swinging in. I went from yes to no to yes to maybe to no. This has been going on for hours now.
This is where knowing my mood comes in. I understand that the changing is not truly due to what I want, but due to my state of mind. I am tired and that makes me flip-flop. It always has. My solution to the flip-flopping is to simply not touch my email again in regards to group. Right now I don’t know what I want, but I am going to trust my response last night which was to continue.
Being aware and honest about your state of mind is so important for stability. When we ignore our moods we can become out of control. This is difficult for those around us to deal with and often creates a mess for us to clean up later. Working with your mood isn’t giving in to it. It means that you are aware of yourself enough to know how to survive. An example of this is my knowing that today is not a day for me to big make decisions. I would be a nut if I did.
Ask yourself if you recognize your moods? If the answer is yes, do you know how to work with them to make your life easier?
Peace and blessings!
Again a beautiful post. I know how I used to feel when I couldn’t control my mood swings. but lately, I have started using affirmations to control my mood. like when I’m angry because of someone else, I affirm, ” be calm, this is not your problem, it’s his problem.” I say it four or five times and a feeling of calmness prevails. Mostly I use affirmations when I drag myself in a painful position..I haven’t used any affirmations for me being happy. I don’t know If I need that also…and there are other moods also that I could discuss, but I think that would be too intimate, hahaa….
Thanks for sharing your experience…
Your affirmations are great! I find that also helps. Turning away from our old behaviours takes time and reminders. Peace and blessings!
I completely relate with the momkey mind; he never has good ieas and I am always trying to starve the little sucker out.
See I occassionally experience good ideas, but since they go by too quickly I never remember them! LOL!
I don’t always recognize my mood until it is too late. I am getting better but sometimes I only realize once I’ve reached the explosion point, where I’m either yelling like a banshee because I’m so frazzled, or crying because I’m so overwhelmed. Now I realize I need to assess my mood first in order to plan my day. Meditation has helped but I need to be more disciplined and meditate more often.
On a side note — monkey mind always brings visions of the angry little monkeys flinging their poo at everyone. The first time I was in a meditation group and the leader mentioned that I was in a fit of giggles and everyone thought I was nuts. Ha!
It is a challenge, but so worth the effort. Being able to recognize my mood I have stopped beating myself up over them and now work with them.
I totally feel just like that when I have the monkey mind going! I feel like I should be screaming “duck” to all around me.
Peace and blessings.