For a while now, like years, I have felt like I’ve been looking for something. This “something” would make everything worthwhile. I was convinced that if I was perfect in my job my life would click. That didn’t happen and I grew out of my workaholic life style. Talk about staring in to the abyss.
That is truly what it felt like. I had spent 20 years being my job. It didn’t matter what job as I lived for it. When I decided that wasn’t what I wanted anymore I was suddenly facing LIFE. To be honest that was scary. I mean how was I supposed to identify myself if I didn’t use my job? If I didn’t get fulfillment from my job where was I supposed to get it? If I didn’t focus on it 24/7 I had to deal with the world and living in it. I mean really?
Then it happened. When I stopped hiding behind my job I realized that I had been searching for me and my value. While looking to get some of that from your employment isn’t bad it isn’t great when you are in a job that you don’t love. Of course fear was a major player in that strategy.
Identifying that the fear of living was what propelled me, along with other reasons, to become a workaholic was huge. I was then able to look at why I was so afraid. That helped me to figure out what I was looking for and wanted.
Once you get the ball rolling in your life don’t try to stop it. You can, but do you really want to be stuck in the same pattern that made you miserable? We can’t rely on others to keep us moving forward. They may give us the nudge we need, but we have to do the walking.
What are you looking for? Are you looking for something?
Peace and blessings.