The last couple of months have been hard. There has been loss in the physical plane, learning my true desire for my life, other lessons and what seems like a lot of running. Today I believe it all hit, hard.
This morning I had appointments for my hair and nails. Always good for some pampering. From there I went to Costco. Thankfully it was slow and I was in/out in record time and for little money. Then I came home. You know how sometimes when you finally sit down everything hits? That was today. I was back in bed for a nap around noon. My “nap” ended up with me being unconscious for four hours. It was awesome, but I have to admit that this evening I am still feeling a bit beaten. The question is why.
The answer to the question is easy… I’ve been pushing myself. There is more though. I’ve been hiding. Today I’m overwhelmed with the loss of Jason. I lost a good friend. I feel lost on that fact. Then I sit here and think about Jenn and Ry and my heart just breaks.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not one of those people who denies death or runs from it, but I also understand that we feel the loss. No matter how spiritual we are we do have to deal with the loss of the physical form. That face that you see, emails you receive or the voice that you hear will never be again. There is loss tied to never hearing it again in the hear and now.
So today I have just been “being”. Crying when needed. Smiling at memories. Sleeping when I have to. Letting the feelings that have come to the surface and releasing them. All of this is part of being human and healthy.
Much love and peace my friends.