Well there is growth people! All over the place. How do I know? If I was anymore anxious
I took this picture myself. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I would just have a stroke and be done with it. When I leave the group sweating, nauseous, and then get a nose bleed I know I am on the right path to healing. The ugly and scary is up to bat!
Today we discussed why we wanted to continue group and what our goals are for the next eight weeks. I went first and explained that I wanted to learn to accept the emotions that I deem as negative. In sharing this I started on the path of hyperventilating. Always fun. Instead of trying to stifle the anxiety I acknowledged it. Did it help? Maybe a bit at the time, but after I had this voice in my head repeating “I can’t believe I said any of that”. I could feel my face flush, my stomach go hinky and the ringing in my ears. Thankfully I didn’t hyperventilate. I really hate doing that in front of people. Nothing like a complete panic attack to endear you to others.
The thing is I don’t really regret it. I need to work on this. I realize this from recent activities. One is a book that I am reading. It is written by Karen Cigna and is called The Size of My Life. In this book Karen discusses finding her voice and her recovery from Bulimia. I will do a more in-depth review of this book later, but let me say that if you have issues with food such as using it to stuff your emotions or using the control of it to control your life this is a great book. Painful, but worth it. So very very worth it. I am learning so much about myself. Things that I would love to shove in the closet, behind the outfits I used to fit in to and never look at them again. Of course, that isn’t an option.
Right now I am in a period of growth. It is time to drag all of the emotions that I hid from out in to the open. To realize that I can express all of my emotions without fear. That I have the right to do so. They are my emotions and I need to own them. It is time.
Peace and blessings my friends.
I am holding you in love and grace, my friend.
Thank you Joss! Massive hugs, loves and blessings my friend! It is all forward motion and that is the most important part!
Here is a personal question, feel free to email me edmtourist@gmail if you prefer or just tell me to take a hike, I understand!
Lately I feel like I have reached the end of therapy. I write out my feelings, I think about things and ponder them, my world has expanded and I am way more positive. I no longer feel I benefit from therapy, singular or group. So tell me, do you think you have reached that point too? I have seen such tremendous growth in you since I have started reading your blogs. Or do you feel like you have a long way to go still? I love hearing others perspective. I think I am in that place where only I can move me forward. I would love to hear your thoughts on this.
Robyn xxx
That is a great question and one that I kick around alot. No, I haven’t reached the end of therapy. I truly wish that I have on many levels, but alot of that is tied to the fact that I don’t want to hit this next part. I have some stuff to work on that to me is the hardest. The accepting of emotions and learning to let them be. I don’t think I have a long way to go, but this may be one of the most difficult. Luckily I am past the stage of fighting myself on it (I so hope I am) so I should be able to work it in a fairly straight on manner. Since a lot of my issues with these emotions is expressing them with others I think that group is a great place for me to work on it. Individual therapy is still helpful even though it is only once a month as it allows me to talk about some stuff on my mind. Or call out behaviour that I didn’t realize that I practice.
Congrat’s on reaching the stage of ending therapy! That is awesome! Yay!!!!
Peace and love Robyn!
I forgot the .com part lol
What great eyes!
Such a great success – you are such an inspiration for all of us.
Thank you RTCN for your kind words. Peace and blessings my friend.