I sit here and it builds. The need for relief. There is the old way calling. Easy, tempting and scary. The anxiety….. is it from the desire of the old? Or is it from denying the call of that path? Does it matter? It is there. Some days I forget it and the hold that it held on me. Still, at times, does have on me. Tonight is one of those nights when the call, the desire, the NEED to feel that clear pain is demanding. To feel the sharp pain instead of being held in the grip of this confusion of numbing pain. The sharp pain stops the mind running in circles. It quiets it all….. for a bit.
Hoping that writing this brings the relief that is needed.
Peace and blessings my friends, peace and blessings.